On a scale of 1-10, how successful are your relationship instincts? Do they serve you well? Or run you ragged?
Have you ever stayed in an an unhealthy relationship because it felt safer? Had sex before you were ready? Stuck around because the kids come first? Forgotten what you need to be happy in your relationship?
If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions, you’ve experienced how easily instinct can sabotage your attempts to have a great relationship. But what is instinct and why does it work so diligently at your expense?
Instinct is your unconscious bio-chemical response mechanism tasked to secure survival.
That’s it. It’s the non-negotiable hard-wiring that motivates our behaviors and responses at every turn, guiding us to seek food and shelter, safety, companionship, and the means to pro-create.
Instinct will have men provide and protect and women support and adapt, without regards to compatibility, mutual benefit, securing joy and harmony, or getting your “fulfill me” needs met.
At its worst, instinct overshadows what Spirit has to offer because the majority of instinct assumes the perspectives of others (erroneously most times) and comes from a place of fear: Fear of loneliness; Fear of failure; Fear of losing the support of our family and friends.
Spirit is the place of Choice and Enhancement.
It’s about consciously choosing a partner and consciously creating the experience of joy, partnership, intimacy and integrity instead of letting Instinct guide you unchecked.
Spirit is what allows us the capacity to re-train our Instincts!
Re-training your Instincts requires working to understand them first. Working to figure out the positive intention underlying the “need” they are trying to fulfill.
Clearing out past hurts.
Committing to find clarity for yourself about what you want your relationship to look like in concrete terms.
Co-creating Conscious Partnership then becomes about representing clearly who you are, what you want and need, and what you’re able to provide for your partner.
Understanding the difference between Being In Instinct or Being At Choice with your partner is the cornerstone of ALL joyous and love-lived relationships because when you are At Choice, you can freely create deeper, more satisfying, and longer-lasting connections with your partner!
Sounds yummy, huh?
If you or someone you know has been experiencing challenges getting to the place of Choice in dating or relating, I offer Relationship Breakthrough Sessions for Singles, Couples or Partners Flying Solo ready to move beyond Instinct to the place of actively creating Conscious Partnership.