My Partner Never Listens to Me! Be Heard and Understood with Kimi Avary and Alice Shikina

If you have been wondering whether you can save your relationship or if it would be better to jump ship and move onto something new…

This workshop is for you!

Here’s the truth. Relationships aren’t for the feint of heart. When they are good, they are good, and when they are bad, they are bad. Relationships that aren’t working tear your soul and sap your energy.

They prevent us from being our best self.

I believe you can be the most conscious person in the world and get tripped up in your relationship if you don’t understand the masculine (Individualistic) and feminine (Relational) dynamics that are at play.

When things aren’t working, sometimes the answer is to break up. And sometimes the answer is to get some new skills.

My mission is to help end emotional and physical violence between men and women through helping them understand each other.

Why? Because the impact on children is immense when their parents can’t get along. This is true whether they stay together or break up.

That’s why I work with couples to find out if and how they can save their relationship. I help them get the right tools to navigate their relationship effectively.

I also believe that if breakup is being talked about, or thought about, it’s important to explore all your options.
The decision to split up can be a hard decision to make. That’s why I’ve teamed up with mediator Alice Shikina to give you the right tools to make a good decision for you and your situation.

Alice and I would love to invite you to an intimate relationship exploration. Should I Stay or Should I Go is for those in relationships considering a change in status.

The intro course goes over several communication styles, the differences between how men and women communicate and practical tips on improving communication between partners.

Workshop participants will gain insight into whether their issues are stemming from communication styles or whether there is a deeper conflict.

The workshop leaders, Kimi Avary and Alice Shikina, provide a safe space for exploration and self-reflection.

TUESDAY AUGUST 20th from 7:30-9:30 pm, at The Joint Chiropractic, 2628 Telegraph Avenue, Berkeley, CA 94704


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Moving from Stuck in Emotional Pain to Healing Your Heart Once and For All

Pain in our bodies is usually there to tell us something. It’s a messenger.

If your ankle hurts after a fall, you’ve likely sprained it. Chronic heartburn could be an indication of a hernia. A migraine after a long day might be the result of tension.

You could pop an Advil for the ankle or the headache, and take some Mylanta for the sour stomach.

And you’d probably get some immediate relief.

But you’d only be addressing the symptoms. Unless you treat the root cause (get off the ankle, fix the hernia, or lower your stress levels), you’ll keep experiencing the same pain.

Not only that, but the pain can escalate in intensity.

Emotional pain in our hearts – and the way we often respond to it – works the same way.

How We Stay Stuck In Emotional Pain

When you feel under-appreciated, dissatisfied, frustrated, abandoned, or criticized in your relationship, you want to make the emotional pain go away.

And if you’re like the many men and women I have worked with, here’s what you’re most likely to do:

Unhappy couple

  • Fight with your partner
  • Withdraw from your partner
  • Leave your partner altogether

Yet, in each of these scenarios, you’ve only treated the “symptoms.”

Unless you uncover and dissolve the underlying cause of your pain, you will continue to hurt in love.

Pain in our hearts – the natural grief and other emotions that all humans feel – is a messenger too!

When you feel emotional pain in response to what your date or partner did – or didn’t do – that’s your inner compass telling you that there’s something that needs to be healed on the inside.

  • If you keep experiencing the pain of people leaving you, there is an underlying cause.
  • If you always feel like you’re the one giving in your relationship, there is an underlying cause.
  • If you feel like your partner isn’t sufficiently attracted to you, there is an underlying cause.

And you will keep attracting people and situations that trigger your emotional pain – whatever it is.

Heal Your Heart Once And For All

Just as physical pain resolves once you treat the underlying condition, your emotional pain will also stop once you treat the root causes…

  • That fight you keep having over and over with your partner will stop.
  • Those players you keep attracting will leave you alone.
  • That ache of dissatisfaction you feel in a relationship will vanish.

But recognizing where the challenges stem from can be tricky. After all, they’ve been with you for most of your life.

I’m a specialist in helping people tap into the root causes of their relationship pain.

If you want immediate help so you can zero in on exactly what’s causing the problems between you and your partner,

Please consider joining my 3-Month Relationship Navigation Intensive Program.

And if you think you ALREADY know the underlying reasons why you and your partner fight, you especially need this program.

I’ve found that most couples are completely wrong in their analysis of their own relationships, and their “diagnosis” is usually way off.

That’s precisely why they keep running into the same problems and experiencing the same emotional pain!

When you participate in The Relationship Navigation Intensive,

You’ll know how to truly heal your emotional pain and your relationship – and finally know what it’s like to experience healthy, lasting, and blissful love.

Click here to learn more.

If you are struggling in your relationship, or struggling to find your life partner,

I would be happy to discuss your situation and how the Relationship Navigation Intensive can help.

Schedule a 30-minute consultation on my calendar.

In the meantime, May Your Heart Feel Peace in Your Daily Relating…

I’m here for you. I’m on your side. 🙂

To Love!

Schedule 30 Minutes Now

Kimi Avary
Relationship Navigation Specialist

Learn more about the Relationship Navigation Intensive

Tips for Creating the Love You Desire

Did you know that you are an Amazing Human Being?!?!?!

Do you know how powerful you are?

You have the power to create love in your life – or not – and that is extraordinary.

This applies to you regardless of your relationship status.


Love is a state of being. It’s an experience.

Love flows endlessly. Always. And in All Ways!

Love has an electromagnetic frequency that flows from your heart and touches the people around you, if you let it.

You can feel the difference when your heart is open and love is flowing, and when it’s not. Can’t you?

What if I told you that you can CHOOSE to allow love to pour out from your heart?

That’s right. You can.

And the beauty of choosing to let love pour out of your heart is that when you activate love in your body, it’s actually good for you.

Activating love in your body puts your body into health and wellness mode. 🙂

If experiencing love is easy for you, fantastic. If it’s not, then read on.

Tips for Creating the Love You Desire

You may be wondering, “If I create love in my life, and I’m not getting the love I want… then what am I supposed to do?”

There are two reasons you may not be experiencing the love you desire.

The first is that you may not have known that it’s up to you to choose the kind of experience you want to have.

If you want love, then choose love by looking for experiences of love. Start by looking where it’s most easily found.

Me and my chihuahua Mouse 🙂

I find it most easily with my chihuahua, Mouse, or being in nature. I can feel the interconnectedness of all there is when I’m holding Mouse or I’m outside.

In my heart the experience of interconnectedness feels like love.

TRY THIS: Think of where you can go to feel connected. Either physically go there, or imagine being there. Breathe in the beauty, abundance, and connection. Feel it fill your heart. Exhale. Imagine love flowing out from your heart. You may notice that with each breath the feeling of love gets stronger and more robust. Let it grow.

Isn’t it amazing how when you choose to experience love, you can?

The second reason you may not be experiencing the love you desire is that how you perceive what you see outside of you stops you from experiencing love.

Here are a few examples:

  • Your partner isn’t giving you the love you want, and you feel hurt, frustrated and alone.
  • You’re single, and you see people in relationships all around you, and you have a hard time accessing the feeling of love. Instead you’re feeling lonely, envious, angry or bitter.
  • You and your partner fight about all kinds of things from who takes care of the cooking, to parenting styles, to where to go on vacation.
  • You feel like your partner never takes what is important to you into account and the resentment seems so thick, you can’t imagine how to get out of it.

Just say NO to the Downward Spiral

So much of our relationship upsets stem from assumptions and misunderstandings about our partner.

From these, we make judgments about the intention behind why our partner did or didn’t do something. And quite often these judgments are less than kind.

Here’s an assumption that has led me to curiosity rather than frustration.

“Men and women are so different we’d be better off if we actually spoke different languages, because then, we wouldn’t think we were communicating.”

It freed me up to create more love in my life regardless of what my partner is or isn’t doing, and what’s happening around me. Which helps me return to the loving experience I desire when I’ve been having challenges in my relationship.

Wouldn’t you like more of that?

I address these challenges and more in my new 3-Month Relationship Navigation Intensive Program.

Click here to learn more.

People have paid $2000 for this program, but I’m offering it at the super special price of $297 because I want to provide you with the tools to create a lifetime of love.

If you are struggling in your relationship, or struggling to find your life partner, I would be happy to discuss how the Relationship Navigation Intensive can help.

Schedule a 30-minute consultation on my calendar.

In the meantime, may you create and ENJOY the love in your life always!

I’m here for you. I’m on your side. 🙂

To Love!

Schedule 30 Minutes Now

Kimi Avary
Relationship Navigation Specialist

Go to Enrollment Now

Setting Your Intention for 2019 and Beyond

Recently I shared a story about how I avoided a heartbreaking family gathering by rallying my creative powers and setting my intention to have the experience I wanted.

(You can read the full account here in case you missed it.)

Now that holiday bustle has passed, and we’re delving into 2019 in earnest, I thought a re-share of my tips for creating the experiences you want in love and life might be in order…


Know that you have a choice about every experience that comes your way.

Creating Meaningful ConnectionsIt may take a few minutes to orient yourself so you can make the best of challenging situations as they come up, but you can do it.

You always have choice.

I invite you to take some quiet time and set your intention on what you want to experience instead of what you don’t want (for the day, the week, the month, or all of 2019!:)

Even if things have been a bit rocky, you can give yourself a time out, breathe and focus on what you want to experience instead.

When you get the image, imagine being inside of that desired image – imagine feeling, seeing, and hearing what it’s like to be fully experiencing it the way you want it to be.

Things will start to turn around and move in the direction of what you desire. Especially when you’re FEELING THE GOOD FEELINGS that you desire. They become like a magnet drawing the experience you want into your life.

You are a powerful creator.

Remember to love the ones you’re with… even if it’s just yourself.

And that in every moment you can set a new intention and make the best of whatever is coming your way…



PS. If you are someone you know has been struggling with relationship disappointments or conflict, the NEW 3-Month Relationship Navigation Intensive Program will give you what you need to turn things around and create the relationship you truly desire… CLICK THE IMAGE BELOW TO LEARN MORE.

Enroll in the 3-Month Relationship Navigation Intensive Program

Wondering if it’s right for you?

Schedule a 30-minute appointment with me to discuss your unique situation and goals and what you can start doing right away to achieve them.

Click here to schedule now.

I’m here for you. I’m on your side. 🙂

To Love!

Schedule 30 Minutes Now

Creating Meaningful Connections

When I think of Winter Solstice, Hanukkah, Christmas, and Kawnzza, I think of connection.

Creating ConnectionsConnection to family and friends near and far.

Connection to ourselves and our inner wisdom.

Connection to our country and our world, to something greater than ourselves, the Universe, God, Goddess, The Thing Itself…

Unfortunately, we can’t get to connection if we don’t set our intention to go there.

Over the years, the holidays have been both beautiful and difficult at varying times for me…

I remember the year after my mother passed away we were having Christmas as a family. My brother Arthur and I had arranged create the Christmas meal for the family.

Since I live quite a drive away from my father’s house, I was staying overnight. In the morning, I was in the kitchen preparing a fabulous cranberry/tangerine sauce. My father walked in and said, “You’d better finish up so that Arthur get in here to fix dinner.”

This might not have been a huge deal except that my father and I have had a rocky relationship for many years.

His simple words made me immediately feel like bursting into tears, and that I shouldn’t have even come. I turned the burner down and left the room.

Heartbroken WomanThe only thing I could think to do was to lock myself in the bathroom. I doubt anybody even noticed, but I knew I had to get out of the room or we would go down the path of anger and hurt feelings that we’ve gone down over and over again.

I sat there in the bathroom and knew I was at a fork in the road. I knew I didn’t want another horrific fight with my dad. Christmas was hard enough without my mother, and I just couldn’t stand the idea of fighting with my father again.

So there in the bathroom I paused. I took some deep breaths. And then I thought about the kind of experience that I wanted to have.

What I truly wanted was a Christmas with my family that was filled with love and connection. I wanted to fill the hole that the loss of my mother had left on all of us. I wanted a balm on my broken heart.

I decided that I needed to, and that I could, let go of what my father had said.

That I could reinterpret his words differently than I’d ever done.

I could think that my father’s words were not aimed at me or meant as a barb. They were just words said with enthusiasm about the coming dinner. This was just as true as thinking he didn’t love me. I knew I had a choice. I also knew that I had to make a better choice than I’d made before.

I sat there in the bathroom and intentionally thought about love. And the more I thought about love, the more I began to feel it. The more I felt love, the easier it was to begin to imagine this Christmas being different.

I set my intention to focus on love with my husband, brothers, sister-in-law, nephew, and father.

I spent about 10 minutes envisioning the experience I wanted with my family and most especially my father. Breathing and connecting myself to the love that I wanted to be experiencing.

Breathing and feeling love in every cell of my body. Breathing and sending love to my family. Breathing and sending love to my father.

And then I went to the kitchen and finished making my delicious cranberry/tangerine sauce. Arthur and I cooked together. We had a sweet gathering.

That night when I laid my head on the pillow, smiling as I drifted off to sleep, I thought, “That was exactly the experience I wanted.”


Creating Meaningful ConnectionsKnow that you have a choice about every experience that comes your way.

It may take a few minutes to orient yourself so you can make the best of the situation, and you can do it. You do have a choice.

However you’ve been spending the holidays, I invite you to set your intention on what you want to experience instead of what you don’t want.

Even if it’s been a bit rocky, you can give yourself a time out, breathe and focus on what you want to experience instead.

When you get the image, imagine being inside of that desired image feeling, seeing, and hearing what it’s like to be fully experiencing it the way you want it to be.

Things will start to turn around and move in the direction of what you desire. Especially when you’re feeling the good feelings that you desire. They become like a magnet drawing the experience you want into your life. You are a powerful creator.

And love the ones you’re with… even if it’s just yourself. In every moment you can set a new intention and make the best of whatever is coming your way.

Try this, and you just might find that it feels good, and that it’s nice to know you have a choice. It will also help you to know that you can create more of what you truly desire in your life.

May your holiday season be filled with sweet connections, much love, and delicious laughter!



Relationship Navigation Intensive Program - Create the Love You Desire

Bulletproof Woman Principle #1 Know Who You Are and What You Want

In relationship coaching, I see many women who have shields protecting their hearts. We call her the Bulletproof Woman. She is strong, successful and social. She has a good job or owns her own business. She is passionate, confident and has goals. She learned that she could have it all, but she is strangely unfulfilled, exhausted, and at times feels lonely. She has learned how to survive in a man’s world by putting on a bulletproof shield that has also kept her alone and isolated in her romantic personal life. She craves intimacy and doesn’t know how to get it. She doesn’t have the greatest boundaries: she either loses herself in relationships or shields herself in a way that keeps her from connecting with potential partners. She has often confused chemistry for love and has dived into one relationship after another only to find that she was not happy because she ignored red flags and deal breakers. If she is married, she might not have the depth of intimacy she craves.

Invest the time to discover who you are and what would make you happy. Seems obvious, right? A woman by nature is flexible and adaptable to those she cares about and to those around her. She tends to meet someone and lose herself in the relationship. She goes into adaptable “pleasing” mode. Being true to yourself is much easier when you are single, so before you are in a partnership, it is important to articulate with clarity who you are and what your life’s purpose is. This will help you set a strong foundation for meeting and keeping the perfect partner for you.

[Announcement] Intimacy Expert Jan Robinson Joins Voraciously Curious 8/11-12th in Berkeley

Sex and Intimacy Expert Jan Robinson says that creating experiences of truly great sexual love and passionate intimacy involves the art of understanding and responding to each other’s unique masculine and feminine differences…

I couldn’t agree more! 🙂

That’s why I have invited her to give a SPECIAL BONUS PRESENTATION at my 2-Day Voraciously Curious Workshop for Couples and Singles 8/11-12th in Berkeley.

During Jan’s “How to Create Greater Relationship Bliss with Your Partner Overnight!” presentation you will discover…

  • How to recognize your own and your partner’s basic sexual energy template, whether it’s “solar” or “lunar,” and what challenges and gifts come which each type
  • What you need to know about your basic sexual energy template, that allows you to easily transform even long-standing issues into the greatest pleasure you’ve ever known
  • The #1 secret to approaching love play so that your masculine/feminine differences, rather than working against each other, harmonize together in a win-win style of mind-blowing, lovemaking magic

You won’t want to miss these juicy details and more at Voraciously Curious Weekend!

Seating is limited!

Go here to enroll:

Workshop Details

More About Special Guest Expert Jan Robinson…

Jan Robinson, MAFor the past 18 years, Jan Robinson, M.A., has helped hundreds of women, men, and couples have and enjoy deeper, more fulfilling sex and intimacy.  She has led dozens of workshops all over the U.S. and Europe.

Jan is the author of the #1 best-selling Have More Sex Book for men, where she reveals her top 15 secrets for satisfying women and having them come back for more.

She is the founder of Multidimensional Pleasure, offering one-on-one and group mentoring to women on the topics of women’s sexuality, attracting your ideal mate, and relationship fulfillment; private couple’s programs in tantric sex and intimacy; and individual online coaching for men to increase their confidence and performance in the bedroom.

Enroll Me in Voraciously Curious Now!

Healing Little Hurts So Love Can Thrive

I wanted to take a minute to talk about the little hurts in your relationship today because little hurts building up over time can destroy your most vital and loving intentions.

For example:

  • Maybe your partner says something that hurts your feelings and you shrug it off and “let it go” for the sake of diplomacy. You don’t want a confrontation, so you bury this little hurt today.
  • Maybe you go along with something that makes you feel uncomfortable for the sake of making your partner happy, but your contribution seems to be taken for granted – goes unappreciated – but you bury this little hurt today.
  • Maybe you’re tired of being nagged about something that’s not a priority right now and wonder what’s the point of even trying, but you bury this little hurt today.
  • Maybe you have mustered up the courage to tell your partner how you really feel about something that’s important to you, only to have it shot down, criticized, or ignored, but you bury this little hurt today.

Every single day, men and women choose to bury some little hurt because they love their partners and want to make their relationship work…

For the kids.

For security.

Because they cannot bear the thought of breakup.

Meanwhile, these little hurts are feeding self-preservational instincts below the surface, and building up to a downward spiral that can to destroy the love you have…

Just say NO to the Downward Spiral
Couple spiraling into preventable conflict


It does NOT have to be this way!

I have always said that you can be the most loving, compassionate, and spiritual person in the world and still get tripped up in your relationship because our instinctual nature, hidden in the unconscious mind, gets in the way of our conscious intentions whether we are aware of them or not.

When we know how instinct works, we can navigate it: we can trip, stumble a little, and recover quickly. But when instinct operates under the radar, the results can be emotionally catastrophic and lead to misery, distrust, betrayal, divorce…

The whole point of my coaching practice – and everything I do – is to provide you with reliable tools to recover quickly from little hurts, and create the relationship you truly desire – a conscious relationship that FEEDS YOUR LOVE instead of one that unconsciously challenges it at every turn.

Learn how to co-create a GREAT Relationship
Couple spending more time loving (due to less time recovering from little hurts!).

The bottom line is that LITTLE hurts happen when we don’t know where our partner is coming from – when we subconsciously expect our partners to think, feel and behave like we would, but in practice, men and women are different.

Men and women speak differently, listen differently, and have vastly different needs and expectations relating to commitment, safety, sex – you name it – and until we become CURIOUS about why our partner did or said something THAT WAY instead of the way we expected, we’re going to get it wrong.

If you don’t want to get it wrong,

If you want to:

  • immunize your current relationship against the erosion of little hurts…
  • or find your life partner with the benefit of foresight…

I would love to see you in person August 11-12th, 2018  in Berkeley.

Workshop DetailsDuring my 2-Day Voraciously Curious for Couples and Singles Workshop, I laser focus on some of our differences so that men and women can heal past hurts and begin co-creating GREAT RELATIONSHIPS together.

It’s going to be a great weekend filled with insights you won’t want to miss!

So click here to learn more and enroll before space runs out.

I hope to see you soon.




Voraciously Curious Workshop Homepage

Help! My Wife is ALWAYS late and it drives me CRAZY!

Help! My Wife is ALWAYS late and it drives me CRAZY!






“Dear Kimi,

I don’t know what to do! My wife is ALWAYS late and gets upset with me for leaving without her, and gets up set with me for trying to get her to move faster so we can leave together.

I can’t win and I’m going crazy here!


Crazy Husband!”


Dear Crazy Husband,

I hear you, and I know it can be incredibly frustrating to be waiting on someone when you know EXACTLY how much time it will take to get somewhere. If you’re like my husband, you like to be early.

Men and women have a different relationship to time. Typically, when a man commits he’s created a plan for exactly how long it will take to get from Point A to Point B. You’ve looked at the map, and you’ve created a plan.

Men typically have a strong relationship to the plans they create.

If a woman’s truly on board with the plan, then typically she’ll be ready when you say you should be ready.

But she’s likely a gatherer at heart. That means that the longer you’ll be away, the more she’ll collect to take on the caravan trip with you.

What my husband does is figure out how much time it takes to get from point A to point B, and then he adds 2 hours for me to gather, finish stuff around the house, and get myself together.

When we’re 30 minutes from departure time, he starts saying, “Enough gathering. You can get anything else you may need when we’re on the road.”

It works. It creates peace.

Also, you can add time in for the “fruit stands” and the “bathroom stops” along the way.

Ideally, you have a conversation about how to get out of the house and create a deal about it.

Let me know how it goes.

Much love,



How to Heal Your Past Hurts and Open your Heart to Love

Commitment might not be the problemIf you’ve found this blog post, you’re likely frustrated by emotional hurts that occupy your heart and prevent you from opening to love. I feel you. It is my intention to shed some light on how to heal those hurts so you can open your heart to love.

Ninety percent of relationship problems stem from misunderstandings between the masculine and feminine dynamics that are at play. You can experience hurts in the following areas: communication, commitment, expectations of how much and how to do time together, and expression of needs and desires… just to name a few. I deal with these in the relationship navigation system.

The challenge is that we are hardwired to remember problems and unwanted experiences so that we don’t experience them again. The tendency is to ruminate on them, and when we do, those experiences can become the only lens with which you see the world.

By keeping alive negative memories of undesired experiences, you’re prevented from doing anything new or different in a new relationship.

Just thinking about the experience in the same way, you are literally rehearsing it.

Here are a few actions you can take to change the story of pain so you can open your heart and write a new love-filled one.

  1. Scrap all assumptions you may have about yourself and the other people involved. And then make 1 assumption, and that is that you don’t know what the other person was experiencing, and you might not have all the information.
  2. Be curious and take the time to learn about the differences between the masculine and feminine dynamics. The masculine and feminine have very different ways of viewing the world on an instinctual level.
  3. Be empowered to write a new story from your new place of understanding. You deserve to love and be loved. If you can do it on your own, great. If now, get help. You don’t have to do this on your own.

I’m here for you. I have a few more spaces left in my upcoming Relationship Navigation Immersion Retreat. I’m doing a preview call tonight. Register here.