Whether you’re single and want a relationship or you’re already in one, what I’m about to tell you about the perilous cycle of emasculation and objectification is one of the most challenging and important components for relationship success.
It’s critical to understand how it works because it plays out all around us every single day, in subtle and dramatic ways.
Objectification is turning a person into an object.
Put simply, men do it to women by seeing them as sexual objects, and women do it to men by seeing them as meal tickets.
Emasculation is generally a way of being with men that deprives them of their strength, vigor, spirit and role. Essentially emasculating a man is to make him ineffective.
Both are ways of dis-empowering another human being.
We see another person as if they are a misbehaving version of ourselves if they are doing something we’d never do, or not doing something we’d absolutely do.
We tend to react by backing away and withholding ourselves or lashing out in anger. This anger looks like men treating women as objects, and women emasculating men.
When either sex feels threatened, they lash out at the other.
In order to make sense of it at all, let’s start by looking at human animal and human spirit. Human animal is our instinct about survival and procreation. It’s our default mode of being. It causes us to protect ourselves when we feel threatened.
Human spirit is our consciousness, it is about choice and it’s what makes great relationships possible. When we can choose how we want to respond to any situation, then we can love fully and experience the partnership we truly want.
Unfortunately, you can be the most conscious person in the world and still get tripped up by instinct.
Instinct is strong, raw and pervasive. You might think that it doesn’t impact your relationship because you’re conscious, but I’m here to tell you that very few people, if any, are above the pull of instinct. The best we can hope for is to understand it and learn how to navigate it.
Men and women are wired differently and see the world in different ways. Learning about how your partner experiences the world and learning to navigate the territory of being a “We” eliminates between 80-90% of relationship problems.
Through understanding where your partner is coming from, you will be able to find peace within yourself.
When you find peace within yourself, you won’t be angry with your partner. When you’re not angry with your partner and are coming from a place of peace within yourself, you can be conscious and create the relationship you truly want.
It all starts with you changing your perspective and choosing to see your partner as a unique being who is different than you are and bringing your best self into the relationship.
If you’re suffering from relationship challenges with the opposite sex and need help, I offer Relationship Breakthrough Sessions for Couples or Partners Flying Solo committed to turning things around.