Welcome to Ask Kimi, where I answer your questions. Here’s a question from “Confused”…
I made the mistake (or impulsive decision) to text him last night and didn’t hear back. So now I am sitting with my feelings and wondering what to do next. I think that if and when he gets in contact again it will be time to ask him what he wants with me? I’m sure you have a better suggestion of how to approach the conversation.
I’m gonna listen to more sections of Relationship Navigation System today.
Thanks for everything!
I’ll answer your questions in two parts.
Ahhh. It happens. I feel you.
Men are single focused. They are always single focused, and we are always interrupting a man. Remember that single focus is not a bad thing, it’s just they’re wired differently than we are.
That’s the good news and the bad.
If you know you’re texting a single focused human being, you have some choices:
- You can get upset, decide he isn’t into you, and block his humber.
- You can choose to go on with your day, instead of taking it personally, if he doesn’t respond right back to you right away, and find something that makes your heart sing.
- You can choose to do something that makes you happy instead of letting your upset fester in your heart, leading you to have hurt feelings and be a little snarky when he finally responds back.
- You can also choose to let it go and be happy now, knowing that he was doing something else, and that he’ll get back to you when he’s ready. When you do this, you will be lighter and happier and more fun to talk with when he does respond back. 🙂
It’s important to remember that most often it’s not personal when he doesn’t respond right back.
So, those are all viable choices, and if you remember that he’s always single focused, then you can rest at peace knowing that he’s not ignoring you, AND he’s doing whatever he’s doing; because that would be doing TWO things!
2) GETTING ON THE SAME PAGE
It’s always a good thing to make sure the person you are interested in is interested in what you want.
For instance, if someone wants to casually date, and you want a relationship, it’s important to know that sooner than later.
I find that often men and women enter into relationships unconsciously. Everyone has things that they need in their relationship experience. Unfortunately, these things tend to be unexpressed, but expected.
Sadly, men and women generally misrepresent themselves in an attempt to get what they need based on those unexpressed expectations.
Women tend to say they’re ok with casual sex, when they aren’t.
Men tend to say they want a relationship, when they don’t.
Of course, it can be reversed, but the thing is that you won’t know unless you ask what the other person needs, and unless you let the person you’re dating know what you need, he or she won’t enter into the experience knowing the full equation. This leads to upset and frustration.
If you’re on the same page, GREAT!
If you want a booty call, and he wants marriage and children, then it’s not a match.
If you value polygamy, and he’s the monogamous type, then it’s not a match.
This list is endless, however, it’s critical in dating to KNOW WHAT YOU’RE LOOKING FOR AND LET YOUR POTENTIAL PARTNER KNOW WHAT YOU DESIRE!
Let me know if this helps and have a beautiful day.
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