“Dear Kimi,
I don’t know what to do! My wife is ALWAYS late and gets upset with me for leaving without her, and gets up set with me for trying to get her to move faster so we can leave together.
I can’t win and I’m going crazy here!
Help!
Thanks!
Crazy Husband!”
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Dear Crazy Husband,
I hear you, and I know it can be incredibly frustrating to be waiting on someone when you know EXACTLY how much time it will take to get somewhere. If you’re like my husband, you like to be early.
Men and women have a different relationship to time. Typically, when a man commits he’s created a plan for exactly how long it will take to get from Point A to Point B. You’ve looked at the map, and you’ve created a plan.
Men typically have a strong relationship to the plans they create.
If a woman’s truly on board with the plan, then typically she’ll be ready when you say you should be ready.
But she’s likely a gatherer at heart. That means that the longer you’ll be away, the more she’ll collect to take on the caravan trip with you.
What my husband does is figure out how much time it takes to get from point A to point B, and then he adds 2 hours for me to gather, finish stuff around the house, and get myself together.
When we’re 30 minutes from departure time, he starts saying, “Enough gathering. You can get anything else you may need when we’re on the road.”
It works. It creates peace.
Also, you can add time in for the “fruit stands” and the “bathroom stops” along the way.
Ideally, you have a conversation about how to get out of the house and create a deal about it.
Let me know how it goes.
Much love,
Kimi