Category: Building Rapport, Connection and Intimacy

This category covers how to build and maintain connection, rapport, trust and intimacy with your partner, including topics such as The Sex Deal, the 5 A’s for Relationship Success and tips for how you can start creating an upward spiral in your relationship.

How to use the PLATINUM RULE to Skyrocket your Love and Connection!

Have you ever wondered what the world would look like if your partner treated you the way you want to be treated?

Platinum Rule for Joy and Harmony

If you could get the right amount of appreciation? The right amount of affection? The right amount of attention and respect?

How awesome would you feel if you could WIN with your partner? If you could shift from basic life support in your relationship to systematically boosting and buoying one another up?!

What if I told you this world MANIFESTS when you implement the PLATINUM RULE for relationship success?


While the Golden Rule would have you treat your partner the way that YOU want to be treated, the PLATINUM RULE has you treat your partner the way s/he WANTS to be treated!

Can you see how this fundamental shift in your orientation can have profound consequences for the peace, love, joy and harmony you experience in your relationship?
Not just your romantic relationship, but ALL of your relationships!

Our default way interacting with one another is usually based on a combination of personal history (how we were taught to behave) and projection (how we would want to be treated). But this default method fails to account for the many cultural and gender differences between us, let alone our own unique personal tastes!

Using the Platinum Rule shifts your orientation from “what I want” to “let me first understand what others want and take that into account.”

It is designed to accommodate the feelings and experiences of others so that you will always win with the most important people in your lives!


Here’s what I want you to do:

1. Invite your partner (or a good friend or family member) to commit to trying out the Platinum Rule with you.

2. Engage in a conversation (or series of conversations) asking each other about when and how you like to receive attention. What makes you feel acknowledged and unconditionally accepted by your loved ones? What about appreciation? Do you like words in the moment? Or prefer gestures? How much do you need? What about affection? Do you like holding hands? Lots of cuddling or hugs? Or do you start feeling a little smothered with too much? etc.

3. LISTEN TO LEARN without judgment or expectation. You are curious! This is an opportunity to learn more about someone else and how they like to be treated. Notice how really listening opens your heart. Notice how it changes your perspective about the person or situation. What assumptions can you let go of now that you’ve heard it from them?

4. IMPLEMENT the Platinum Rule by modifying your interactions based on what you’ve learned about one another.

5. CELEBRATE the Platinum Rule by SHARING HOW IT AFFECTS YOU when they honor you by treating you in the ways you enjoy being treated!

REMEMBER: No one person can provide you with everything you need.

Shoot for 25% maximum within your personal relationship. Think about where you can subsidize your partner’s ability to provide you with more attention or appreciation OUTSIDE of your relationship.

If you have been struggling to create the you relationship you want, there’s hope and help!
I offer Relationship Breakthrough Sessions for Singles, Couples or Partners Flying Solo ready to turn their dating and relating experiences around right now!
Click Here to Learn More and Signup!
To Love!
Kimi Avary
Relationship Navigation Specialist


Better yet, consider SHARING IT with your Facebook friends! 🙂

Leveraging the Law of Attraction to Create your Ideal Partnership

Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, wave a magic wand, stop time, and just take a minute to imagine your Perfect Lover and your Perfect Love!
Create a GREAT Relationship

Fantasize if you have too!

Right now.

Imagine your Perfect Lover and your Perfect Love and tell me:

What does it look like? How does your partner feel to you? What’s your favorite thing to share? What would you give to make this moment last forever?!

Meditate for a moment.

Take a deep breath and feel it.

Take another deep breath and feel it wash through your body and take your breath away…

Pretty luscious, huh? When you allow yourself to FEEL LOVE VIBRATE through your every cell and very being?

At the beginning of a relationship, this is what Love feels like.

Everything is fresh and fun. Each partner notices all of the good things. They’re looking hopefully into the future and feeling relationship BLISS.

They spend their attention and energy on what they hope will happen and overlook the little quirks and mismatches and become “invested” in their future together.

For my part? I would give anything to make this moment last forever…

But eventually this focus shifts and “reality” sets it.

Assumptions and unexpressed wants and needs accumulate, and the little challenges build up and become boulders.

Feelings get hurt, and hurts grow into glaring wounds until many couples find themselves in crisis.


They begin knit-picking one another literally (in word).

Or figuratively (in behavior).

Maybe even both!


We typically think of energy as how much gas we have in the tank.

This is true. But on a deeper level, energy is something that creates our reality.


Instead of focusing on what’s missing in your relationship – on what’s not working – try focusing on what you like, appreciate and value about your partner.


Tell your partner what you like, appreciate and value about them daily.

Your partner will respond!

From wherever you begin.

Starting today.

Seriously! 🙂

To Love!
Kimi Avary
Relationship Navigation Specialist


P.S. If you’re frustrated and struggling with the heartbreak of relationship problems, maybe you just need a fresh perspective to get back to the place of Hope and Love! 

Schedule a Relationship Breakthrough Session and Find out How You Can Create the Foundation for
Lifelong Love and Companionship!

How to Create a GREAT Relationship Plan

Whether you’re married, in a long-term partnership, or you’ve been dating for a while, and consider yourselves a couple, creating (and annually updating) your “Relationship Plan” is an essential exercise.

Relationship Planning made simple

Taking the time to think about and discuss what you want your life together to look like now – for the next 12 months – will keep you on the same page as a couple, and help the universe kick in its part to ensure you get FANTASTIC results..

The key to writing a GREAT Relationship Plan is to commit to answering questions and writing your answers out on paper. Do not underestimate the power of writing!

It doesn’t have to be pretty – it just has to be meaningful enough for you that you can share your results with your partner.

1. Take an inventory of your year by jotting down answers to these questions:

  • What are you proud of in your interactions with your partner; with others?
  • What didn’t you like about your interactions with your partner; with others?
  • How well did you express your love?
  • How were you at receiving love in your life?
  • How often did you smile or laugh?
  • How much time did you spend doing things that didn’t feel good?
  • How much pleasure were you able to receive?
  • How did you take care of yourself?
  • Did you say “Yes” to the things you wanted to do?
  • Did you say “No” to the things you didn’t want to do?
  • Did you make time to be with the people you care about?
  • How much time did you spend feeling overcommitted?
  • Did you put quality attention on your relationship?
  • How open were you to experiencing connection with others?
  • What can you release from this past year?
  • What did you learn about yourself?

2. Vision what you want to create by answering these questions:

  • What is most important to you this coming year?
  • What do you want to accomplish?
  • What will you do that inspires you?
  • What do you want more of this coming year?
  • How do you plan to take care yourself?
  • How do you plan to be with your partner?
  • How much time and attention are you willing to put into your relationship this year?
  • How do you want your loved ones to feel around you?
  • How do you plan to be with others?
  • What do you want to learn more of?

3.  Imagine that it’s exactly 1 year from now and write (up to 3 pages – if it’s too long, you’ll never look at it) about everything you’re celebrating from the year as if it’s over. What did you see, feel, hear and experience over the year that made it fantastic?

4. SHARE what you’ve written with your partner. Notice where you’re in alignment and where you’re different. Your plans don’t have to be the same, but they do have to line up so that the shared “WE” space is taking up at least 25% of your life.

(Successful Relationships always require a WE plus two individuals. If you’re not putting enough attention into your relationship (less than 25%), your relationship will wither; if you’re putting too much of your attention into it (more than 25%), it will feel smothering and other parts of your life will suffer. Finding the right balance for you both is important.)

5. Together, create a list of activities that you are committed to doing as a couple to fortify your relationship and build a solid WE. Then hang them in a place where you both can see them daily, as a reminder when you are busy with life.

The more you’re in action, in focus, and attentive to your relationship, the greater chance you have of experiencing the relationship you truly want.

To Love!
Kimi Avary
Relationship Navigation Specialist

If you or someone you know has been experiencing challenges  in dating or relating, I offer Relationship Breakthrough Sessions for Singles, Couples or Partners Flying Solo ready to create Joyous  Partnership!

Click Here to Learn More and Signup!