If you’re like most men and women, this happens quite often. From a woman wanting to talk about her feelings and never getting to the point, to a man speaking in bullet points when she wants details.
The truth is that men and women are so different that we’d be better off if we ACTUALLY spoke different languages, because then, they wouldn’t think they were communicating.
We miscommunicate about: money, planning, children, who’s in charge of what, our needs, what’s important to us, how we like attention and affection. And that’s if you already are in a relationship.
The dating world is especially challenging. If you’re trying to connect with someone new and don’t know how because you don’t understand how men and women communicate differently, you’ll be in trouble, and probably spend a lot of time being single.
The world has changed, but our instinctual differences in how we communicate have not. To get to Partnership, you have to understand the differences between the masculine and feminine ways of communicating.
Did you know women tend to use about 25,000 words a day while men average 5,000? And as my father says, “Yeah, and that’s all you need!” I’d bet that most men experience the deluge of words a woman speaks as way too much.
Women (the feminine mode) tend to go on and on and on because the details help them to figure out how they can support the people in their lives. Men (the masculine mode) typically don’t care about the details because he just needs to know what needs to be provided.
Picture this scenario: A man and woman are talking. She’s asking questions to get to know him. He’s answering in one word answers. She’s feeling like he doesn’t want to connect and he feels like he’s being interrogated.
This does not bode well for connecting, now does it?
This week I want you to think of yourself as an explorer in another country learning to communicate with the natives (opposite sex). Be curious. Be open. Ask questions about how the person experiences life and their views of the world. Practice listening!
Do this even if you’ve been married for 75 years!
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