Kimi’s Interview for 24 SHADES OF RED – Reigniting Intimacy, Passion and Play, Hosted by Vibrant Couples, February 2014
Have you found yourself repeating the same pattern in relationships?
You met someone wonderful. You thought you’d found your soul-mate. Wondered where they’d been all your life. A person who shared your values, dreams and aspirations… and then they turned into a dud?
Same old story, different person?
It’s easy to complain. It’s easy to blame. It’s easy to criticize. It’s easy to make your partner responsible for your experience. If only they would just do what I wanted. If only they cared enough to do the right thing. It’s easy to call it quits instead of putting attention into your relationship. But is that going to really get you what you want?
If you left, then what? A new relationship? A new start? But you’ve done that before, haven’t you? Walked away because nothing was working anymore. The excitement was gone. The passion had died. The fantasy was shattered, and you couldn’t figure out how to fix it. You even tried everything you knew how to do.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. If you keep doing the same thing, guess what? You’re going to keep getting the same results.
What doesn’t feel easy, but works better than criticism, blame and calling it quits… AGAIN, is taking personal responsibility for how you feel and how you approach your relationship.
People spend years going from being deeply in love and getting married to hating their former spouse and calling it quits. I’ve seen the fallout from families destroyed, and the frustration of looking for someone new.
I’ve also seen relationships turn around with the right information that I teach in the Relationship Navigation System.
I believe that the only way to change your experience is to learn how to manage yourself, your emotions, learn what makes your partner tick, and learn how to successfully navigate your experience with the opposite sex.
Everything you feel radiates outward and attracts more of the same to you. Period. If you’re feeling angry or upset, it’s as though those feelings attract more situations that make you angry and upset. When you’re feeling good, you attract more good things. Things either spiral downward into the toilet or upward into the heavens. You’ve experienced it at least once. Right?
The problem is that just saying positive affirmations doesn’t work in relationships. You need to learn how to focus your attention and create the magnetism for what you truly want.
You need to learn how you and your partner tick. You need to learn what motivates, inspires and causes your partner to do the things they do.
If you don’t, you will be frustrated. If you don’t, you’ll see them as a misbehaving version of yourself. You’ll be frustrated at every turn and the feel like calling it quits.
If you need support, and want to learn a better way, sign up for a Relationship Breakthrough Session and find out how I can help.
Relationship Navigation Specialist
The other day, I was doing a Relationship Breakthrough Session with a couple who is struggling in their relationship. They’re what I call a conscious precommitted couple; they were at an impasse because they weren’t sure they were on the same page about their future.
They aren’t married. Mary wants to get married. She’s 51 years old and has always wanted to get married.
Dave is 54 years old, and is uncertain about getting married again, because he’s been married before.
Like most Conscious Couples, they’ve made some great choices in their relationship, but what they haven’t done is make a plan for how they want their life to be.
They have been winging it up until they hit a major roadblock.
She’d brought up the idea of marriage early on, but because they’d been having a great time together, it has sat on the back burner for the last year and a half.
Then one night at dinner, she brought it up. She thought the conversation had gone well, but it turned out that he felt broadsided.
She was surprised because she thought they were on the same page. And it’s not that they aren’t, it’s just something they haven’t talked about for most of their relationship.
There seems to be a fear about talking about the future of your relationship because maybe you’ll jinx it. The unfortunate thing is that when you don’t talk about it and create a plan for how you want to be together and what you want to do, you end up winging it, and when you wing it, you get “wing it” results.
The universe can’t provide what you want if you’re not clear. And you can’t plan your life together unless you take the time to plan your life together!
That’s why I recommend creating a Relationship Plan (in writing!) every year. Taking the time to think about and discuss what you want your life together to look like now – for the next 12 months – will keep you on the same page as a couple, and help the universe kick in its part to ensure you get great results.
Relationship Navigation Specialist
If you’ve been having problems connecting with your partner and building the relationship that you want, I offer Relationship Breakthrough Sessions for Singles, Couples or Partners Flying Solo ready to turn their dating and relating experiences around right now!
I saw an amazing video a few weeks ago that I want to share with you, titled “The Science of Happiness – An Experiment in Gratitude,” produced and posted on YouTube by SoulPancake.
When SoulPancake read a research paper proving that “one of the greatest contributing factors in the overall happiness in your life is how much gratitude you show,” they produced the video to document their own happiness experiment with impressive results:
Not only do gratitude and happiness have a positive correlation, but they were able to show that the LESS HAPPY YOU ARE, THE BIGGER HAPPY-JOLT YOU GET! when you start expressing gratitude to and for the people in your life that you love and appreciate.
So, watch the video! Feel your heart open up and start soaring! Laugh and cry with the real people participating in SoulPancake’s yummy experiment!