Whether you’re married, in a long-term partnership, or you’ve been dating for a while, and consider yourselves a couple, creating (and annually updating) your “Relationship Plan” is an essential exercise.
Taking the time to think about and discuss what you want your life together to look like now – for the next 12 months – will keep you on the same page as a couple, and help the universe kick in its part to ensure you get FANTASTIC results..
The key to writing a GREAT Relationship Plan is to commit to answering questions and writing your answers out on paper. Do not underestimate the power of writing!
It doesn’t have to be pretty – it just has to be meaningful enough for you that you can share your results with your partner.
1. Take an inventory of your year by jotting down answers to these questions:
- What are you proud of in your interactions with your partner; with others?
- What didn’t you like about your interactions with your partner; with others?
- How well did you express your love?
- How were you at receiving love in your life?
- How often did you smile or laugh?
- How much time did you spend doing things that didn’t feel good?
- How much pleasure were you able to receive?
- How did you take care of yourself?
- Did you say “Yes” to the things you wanted to do?
- Did you say “No” to the things you didn’t want to do?
- Did you make time to be with the people you care about?
- How much time did you spend feeling overcommitted?
- Did you put quality attention on your relationship?
- How open were you to experiencing connection with others?
- What can you release from this past year?
- What did you learn about yourself?
2. Vision what you want to create by answering these questions:
- What is most important to you this coming year?
- What do you want to accomplish?
- What will you do that inspires you?
- What do you want more of this coming year?
- How do you plan to take care yourself?
- How do you plan to be with your partner?
- How much time and attention are you willing to put into your relationship this year?
- How do you want your loved ones to feel around you?
- How do you plan to be with others?
- What do you want to learn more of?
3. Imagine that it’s exactly 1 year from now and write (up to 3 pages – if it’s too long, you’ll never look at it) about everything you’re celebrating from the year as if it’s over. What did you see, feel, hear and experience over the year that made it fantastic?
4. SHARE what you’ve written with your partner. Notice where you’re in alignment and where you’re different. Your plans don’t have to be the same, but they do have to line up so that the shared “WE” space is taking up at least 25% of your life.
(Successful Relationships always require a WE plus two individuals. If you’re not putting enough attention into your relationship (less than 25%), your relationship will wither; if you’re putting too much of your attention into it (more than 25%), it will feel smothering and other parts of your life will suffer. Finding the right balance for you both is important.)
5. Together, create a list of activities that you are committed to doing as a couple to fortify your relationship and build a solid WE. Then hang them in a place where you both can see them daily, as a reminder when you are busy with life.
The more you’re in action, in focus, and attentive to your relationship, the greater chance you have of experiencing the relationship you truly want.
To Love!
Kimi Avary
Relationship Navigation Specialist
If you or someone you know has been experiencing challenges in dating or relating, I offer Relationship Breakthrough Sessions for Singles, Couples or Partners Flying Solo ready to create Joyous Partnership!
